Monicks: Unleashed

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Ten Bible verses on family values

It appears that some people are in doubt as to how the Bible says one should treat their own children. Someone “highly doubts God would condone murdering a 19 month old baby for not saying AMEN” and thinks that I should reread the Bible, praying before and after every single passage. Someone else complains about verses being taken “out of context” and others just say that they don’t “live by Old Testament ways,” despite Jesus’ firm command to the contrary.
One of the many cultural myths with which I would like to do away is the notion that the Bible is somehow a sturdy moral foundation for our lives, particularly where families are concerned. To that end, I have compiled ten of the meatiest verses from both Hebrew and Christian Testament on the treatment of child and family. Of course, as these are the rules of an extinct ancient theocracy and not a modern society, they are appropriately barbaric. They are so over-the-top crazy that no sane person should assent to them, and I sincerely doubt any “Biblical literalists” are so evil as to obey them, if they are even aware of them:
10. God deems it good to punish Babylon by smashing her infant children to bits on the street, so right off the rod we know that the slaughter of children cannot be a priori an evil thing in Biblical morality. (Isaiah 13:16)
9. Jesus himself will cause your family and your household to be torn apart, so now we also know that it can’t be a priori an evil thing to ruin families in Biblical morality. (Luke 21:16)
8. The sexual enslavement of thousands of children (32,000, to be exact) is OK, as long as God has already told you to murder their families, so we also know that neither genocide or the sexual torture of children is a priori an evil deed in Biblical morality. (Numbers 31:17-18)
7. If you mock or disobey your parents, the birds-of-prey will devour your eyes right out of your head, so the disfigurement of your own children also cannot be a sin. (Proverbs 30:17)
6. If a ruthless dictator doesn’t manumit his slaves at the request of a single random soothsayer, the morally good response is to murder the children of everyone in the nation, even if they have never even heard of Moses or his god, so for the Bible moralist it is morally good to punish people for deeds in which they took no part. (Exodus 12:29)
5. A superficial (read: literal) reading of the story of the binding of Isaac makes it clear that your moral duty to obey a pernicious command from above far outweighs any love you might have for your own offspring. In Bible ethics, then, standing up for your own bloodline is not a priori a morally good action. (Genesis 22:2-13)
4. If children make fun of your bald head, the appropriate response is to have them massacred by bears. This way, we know that in Biblical morality, punishments need no proportion to the crimes. (2nd Kings 2:23)
3. If you don’t hate your mom, your dad, your siblings, your children, and yourself, Jesus is wrong for you. So in Biblical morality, a cohesive family unit is a moral aberration. (Luke 14:26)
2. If a child is disobedient and doesn’t listen to his parents, have the entire town get together and execute him The Lottery-style. There is no exception made here for “19 month old babies who don’t say AMEN.” (Deuteronomy 21:18-21)
1. And of course the most famous father-son relationship in the Bible is God’s own: God loves us so much that he would torture and murder his own son to save us from God’s own wrath.
So, we have learned (1) that the murder, torture, rape, disfigurement, and ritual execution of children is morally permissible in certain cases, (2) the very existence of a loving family structure is morally impermissible, and (3) and annihilation of entire cultures is OK so long as the young children are spared to fulfill the victors’ sexual lust. All this is the case, unless either God is not good, or God is not the author of the Bible.
We are very fortunate indeed, then, that virtually all so-called “Biblical literalists” are either unaware of or too morally good to follow the commands to slaughter and torture written about in the Bible. While I have a great deal to say on this question, particular on the pertinence of these arguments to the Euthyphro Dilemma, I feel the point has been made so I will let it rest.

13 Responses to Ten Bible verses on family values

  1. bh says:

    Pseudo intellectualism. This is offensive- not your ridiculous take on this subject, or your open disdain for some other person’s belief, because honestly, I don’t care about those things. No, what offends me is that you’re so obviously full of bullshit, and expect other people to be ignorant enough to believe it.

  2. NakkiNyan says:

    And if you believe in the bible I have no respect for your ignorant rants. Either follow your book’s laws or don’t, preferably don’t. You can’t say that we should follow the laws in your silly book and then pick and choose which you feel suit your interests the most. You just saw 10 reasons why, chapter and verse.

  3. You know, BH, It’s really nice of you to come to another person’s blog an insult them. Did you bother to go to the links? Ddid you read past the title? Have you any experience with the more gruesome passages of the bible? Or did you come here simply to be an asshole?
    You can cherrypick the nice bits out of the bible as much as you like, but either you believe ALL OF IT or none. And when you make a comment on someone’s blog, if you want to be taken seriously, it’s a good idea to have some SUBSTANCE to your comments rather than just dismiss it.
    Why don’t you crawl back into your hole? So incredibly rude…

  4. BobHeart says:

    Classic Christian behavior, BH. You people prove us right, over and over again. You have no right to insult Monica for pointing out the obviously flawed morality in the bible.

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  8. Derek A Collins says:

    Oh believe me, you’ve only just scratched the surface here! You haven’t even mentioned genocide, the chattelisation of women or gang rape, all justified in the Biblical text. Thing is, you accept all these things if you accept the Bible a s a moral textbook, just as, if you accept the Bible as a scientific textbook you accept a flat earth, a geocentric universe and the idea that the sun can stop dead in the sky.

    If you accept the Bible as an historical textbook, then you have to accept that the world is only 6,000 years old, that giants roamed the earth at some time in humanity’s past and that the entire world was engulfed by a flood, out of which a single family survived by building a boat on a hill in the middle of a desert.

    Fine if you want to accept these things, however unlikely or outrageous they are. Thing is, the Bible is none of these things. The Bible isn’t even a book – it’s a collection of books written over 3,000 years in a broad range of cultures and societies, edited and collected by people with particular axes to grind (by no means always the same ones). If we understand that, then we treat the Bible very differently. We treat is as it is, the record of a community’s struggle to understand who they are and to work out what life is about. It doesn’t contain one sionge message, unifi#orm from beginning to end. It contains stories which reflect their times and the development of thought in the communities in which they arose. This is true of both so-called ‘testaments. The NEW Testament does have a greater focus, in that it all deals with one specific person, a shadowy first-century Jew who, like it or not has had a profound effect on our world, That’s not to say that everything said and done in his name has been beneficial to the world. Far from it. But that person was a product of the world that gave us the Bible, and even if you want to throw out most of the Bible as as arrant nonsense, it’s worth paying attention to this man. You don’t need to accept all the crap people have said about him, even in the Bible, but it’s really worth investigating him. There’s more historical evidence of his existence and his effect than there is of Julius Caesar. So don’t leet the Bible or Christians put you off!

  9. Abby says:

    I’m a Christian, I think you did a pretty good job presenting your side here. I’m not a scholar but there were, what I would consider to be, errors in a few of your points. But, this did challenge me to study more what I really believe, so I’m more prepared to tackle all this.

    And yeah, it’s just great that all these Christians are coming to this site to call names and make fights. Thanks guys, you’re being super helpful :P

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  11. J.Saldanha says:

    It would be better if you go and tend to your garden instead.
    If you don’t believe what is in the Bible, then why just not let it be?
    For me, the Koran has no value. But I would NEVER attack it either; people can judge for themselves.
    It is pathetic to see how you have abused the Scriptures in your spiteful attempt to make other people hate Christians… just like you do.

  12. J.Saldanha says:

    Furthermore, if what u claimed were true, then BY YOUR LOGIC there would be no Christian families left!!!

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