Monicks: Unleashed

Thinking Critically

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I hate it when atheists celebrate Christmas!

You people are funny.

No, no. You got it all backwards. It is you, Christians, who hijacked Christmas from the Pagans’ celebration called Saturnalia, that is the Christmas that you celebrate nowadays.  It used to be a year-end celebration of the solstice that involved decorating trees, giving presents, and throwing parties. But if you’re an adult and you don’t know this, it’s probably because you can’t be bothered to even google it, in which case it’s totally fine — you have the right to reject knowledge, and rejoice in your cultivated ignorance.

But you don’t have the right to call atheists “hypocrites”!

Let me break it down for you:

It would be hypocritical of us to celebrate Christmas if we celebrated, like Christians do, Jesus’ birth, then you would be right to call atheists ‘hypocrites”, but we couldn’t care less about Jesus and his fake designated date of birth. It is not our fault that the hijackers called it “Christmas”. **I** don’t call it “Christmas”.

Being an atheist on Christmas is like being a vegetarian on Thanksgiving. You don’t feast on that part of the banquet that most people think is key, but you can enjoy all the sides and make whatever you want as the main course.

We just go with the flow. We are thankful for the—often mandatory—days off work, and the family gatherings that we don’t have the time to organize and attend in any other time of the year. Some of us do enjoy our families. We have an “excuse” to give our loved ones presents, and many of our family members are Christians, so we indulge them, because we love them.

So it is you, dear Christian, who are celebrating a Pagan celebration… but I won’t tell you that you are the one who deserves to be called a hypocrite… because that is implicit. (◕‿~)✿

 

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An open reply to hate mail

UPDATE

August 24th, 2010

Travis… um, or maybe you prefer Lorena? Whichever.

Don’t you think that you’re taking this out of proportion? Dude! SEVEN EMAILS? SERIOUSLY? And the last one, TWICE! SERIOUSLY??

So you don’t like what your bible says about your sexual preferences? I have a present for you from my favorite book of the bible:

Leviticus 18:22: Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.

In short, your god detests you. I don’t – I advocate for the rights of people like you.

… and you’re calling us atheists, “hypocrites,” and engaged in a fight defending religion? RELIGION??!!  Don’t you see how ridiculous your argument is? Get a grip, man.

Next time I will expose your email address and have you know what massive hate mail is. I’m done with you.

*****************************************

August 23rd, 2010

So after our Twitter Sunday School I got this email:

———- Forwarded message ———- From: **** **** Date: Sun, Aug 22, 2010 at 2:19 PM Subject: Wow. To: me Sunday school…. What hatred. Umm hypocrite much?

And today I got this new one:

———- Forwarded message ———- On Mon, Aug 23, 2010 at 6:40 PM, **** *****

wrote:

Confused and lost? If you despise religion, and humans practice religion, then you are asserting that you hate peoples’ beliefs, which in turn can hurt a persons feelings. Knowing that a person hates/despises who and what they are, and believe inevitably brings them down. Remember, “Practice compassion & remember that everyone you meet loves something, is afraid of something, misses something & has lost something. ♥”

I am a male gay Christian. My partner is an atheist. You’re a hypocrite. Ha!

What what?

So, here is my reply:

Greetings sir,

Thanks for taking the time to write this missive, I appreciate your efforts.

I take it that you’re replying to this tweet of mine: “So in RE. to your mail: Not hatred nor hypocrisy. Everything I said in Sunday School is true, I don’t hate religion – I despise it.

Aye – I do despise religion, not people, not people’s beliefs, the fact that religion enslaves people’s minds. I am not trying, though, to change anyone’s mind. I find it saddening, that you feel that you have the right to call me a hypocrite, but I understand that you’re frustrated, and maybe, just maybe, afraid of losing your faith.

On the other hand, I don’t appreciate the way you have treated me. You, as a Christian, should find in your heart enough goodness to forgive my inability to believe in any gods. You are not a very good Christian, I suppose, since you must have read that verse in your holy book that explicitly says that you’re not supposed to marry, let alone just have intercourse out of wedlock, with a person of a different set of beliefs, much worse an atheist infidel, and for as unbelievable as you might think it is, much much worse in a gay relationship. But that is none of my business, right?

Just for your enjoyment I am going to show you what I’m referring to:

2 Corinthians 6:14-15: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?” (KJV)

1 Corinthians 6:9-10: “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Do you still believe that you have the right to call me a hypocrite?

No, sir, I am not confused, it seems to me that you are.

I do practice compassion, and believe in every word I say publicly and privately. I am a humanist, I respect people.

You didn’t take in consideration that I didn’t expose either your name nor your email address in my tweet, and I’m not doing it here either. That should show you a little bit of the type of person that I am.

I don’t have to respect religion, I think it is a bad thing, but I also know that, since your mind is enslaved, you won’t accept any of the facts that I could present to you to make you understand why I think this way, I know that religion has caused much harm, not just your religion, religion in general.

I am glad that you read my tweets, I suppose you do like at least half of them, so thanks for that too. I hope they don’t bring you down too much. By the way, does your ‘atheist partner’ know that you’re emailing me this?

Point in case, thank you for your time, I think you should leave a comment here, my email address is for more productive and amicable things. If you want to debate, I am here for you.

Good day, sir.

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Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain

Darwin Stain
Darwinic pilgrims claim the image fills them with an overwhelming feeling of logic.

DAYTON, TN—A steady stream of devoted evolutionists continued to gather in this small Tennessee town today to witness what many believe is an image of Charles Darwin—author of The Origin Of Species and founder of the modern evolutionary movement—made manifest on a concrete wall in downtown Dayton.

"I brought my baby to touch the wall, so that the power of Darwin can purify her genetic makeup of undesirable inherited traits," said Darlene Freiberg, one among a growing crowd assembled here to see the mysterious stain, which appeared last Monday on one side of the Rhea County Courthouse. The building was also the location of the famed "Scopes Monkey Trial" and is widely considered one of Darwinism’s holiest sites. "Forgive me, O Charles, for ever doubting your Divine Evolution. After seeing this miracle of limestone pigmentation with my own eyes, my faith in empirical reasoning will never again be tested."

Added Freiberg, "Behold the power and glory of the scientific method!"

Since witnesses first reported the unexplained marking—which appears to resemble a 19th-century male figure with a high forehead and large beard—this normally quiet town has become a hotbed of biological zealotry. Thousands of pilgrims from as far away as Berkeley’s paleoanthropology department have flocked to the site to lay wreaths of flowers, light devotional candles, read aloud from Darwin’s works, and otherwise pay homage to the mysterious blue-green stain.

Capitalizing on the influx of empirical believers, street vendors have sprung up across Dayton, selling evolutionary relics and artwork to the thousands of pilgrims waiting to catch a glimpse of the image. Available for sale are everything from small wooden shards alleged to be fragments of the "One True Beagle"—the research vessel on which Darwin made his legendary voyage to the Galapagos Islands—to lecture notes purportedly touched by English evolutionist Alfred Russel Wallace.

"I have never felt closer to Darwin’s ideas," said zoologist Fred Granger, who waited in line for 16 hours to view the stain. "May his name be praised and his theories on natural selection echo in all the halls of naturalistic observation forever."

Despite the enthusiasm the so-called "Darwin Smudge" has generated among the evolutionary faithful, disagreement remains as to its origin. Some believe the image is actually closer to the visage of Stephen Jay Gould, longtime columnist for Natural History magazine and originator of the theory of punctuated equilibrium, and is therefore proof of rapid cladogenesis. A smaller minority contend it is the face of Carl Sagan, and should be viewed as a warning to those nonbelievers who have not yet seen his hit PBS series Cosmos: A Personal Voyage.

Still others have attempted to discredit the miracle entirely, claiming that there are several alternate explanations for the appearance of the unexplained discoloration.

"It’s a stain on a wall, and nothing more," said the Rev. Clement McCoy, a professor at Oral Roberts University and prominent opponent of evolutionary theory. "Anything else is the delusional fantasy of a fanatical evolutionist mindset that sees only what it wishes to see in the hopes of validating a baseless, illogical belief system. I only hope these heretics see the error of their ways before our Most Powerful God smites them all in His vengeance."

But those who have made the long journey to Dayton remain steadfast in their belief that natural selection—a process by which certain genes are favored over others less conducive to survival—is the one and only creator of life as we know it. This stain, they claim, is the proof they have been waiting for.

"To those who would deny that genetic drift is responsible for a branching evolutionary tree of increasing biodiversity amid changing ecosystems, we say, ‘Look upon the face of Darwin!’" said Jeanette Cosgrove, who, along with members of her microbiology class, has maintained a candlelight vigil at the site for the past 72 hours.

"Over millions of successive generations, a specific subvariant of one species of slime mold adapted to this particular concrete wall, in order to one day form this stain, and thus make manifest this vision of Darwin’s glorious countenance," Cosgrove said, overcome with emotion.

"It’s a miracle," she added.

Source: TheOnion.com

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