I hate it when atheists celebrate Christmas!

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You people are funny.

No, no. You got it all backwards. It is you, Christians, who hijacked Christmas from the Pagans’ celebration called Saturnalia, that is the Christmas that you celebrate nowadays.  It used to be a year-end celebration of the solstice that involved decorating trees, giving presents, and throwing parties. But if you’re an adult and you don’t know this, it’s probably because you can’t be bothered to even google it, in which case it’s totally fine — you have the right to reject knowledge, and rejoice in your cultivated ignorance.

But you don’t have the right to call atheists “hypocrites”!

Let me break it down for you:

It would be hypocritical of us to celebrate Christmas if we celebrated, like Christians do, Jesus’ birth, then you would be right to call atheists ‘hypocrites”, but we couldn’t care less about Jesus and his fake designated date of birth. It is not our fault that the hijackers called it “Christmas”. **I** don’t call it “Christmas”.

Being an atheist on Christmas is like being a vegetarian on Thanksgiving. You don’t feast on that part of the banquet that most people think is key, but you can enjoy all the sides and make whatever you want as the main course.

We just go with the flow. We are thankful for the—often mandatory—days off work, and the family gatherings that we don’t have the time to organize and attend in any other time of the year. Some of us do enjoy our families. We have an “excuse” to give our loved ones presents, and many of our family members are Christians, so we indulge them, because we love them.

So it is you, dear Christian, who are celebrating a Pagan celebration… but I won’t tell you that you are the one who deserves to be called a hypocrite… because that is implicit. (◕‿~)✿