Tag: funny
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Why geeks rock at sex
By Geek Sex
1. We’re more curious than the rest of the population.
2. We’re hackers by trade, so we are open to trying new things.
3. We produce things for ordinary users, so we’re more attuned to producing an orgasm in our partner then the rest of the population.
4. We use technology to help get you in the mood even before you arrive.
5. We’re more likely to mute our telephone, and turn down the volume on the computer so incoming IM’s don’t make a sound. We’re also used to not answering the telephone, instead preferring asynchronous means of communications.
6. We watch a lot of porn, so we know a lot of positions. This means we’re open to trying them all.
7. Geeks multitask. So we pleasure multiple erogenous zones in our partners… kissing, fucking, tweaking and rubbing all at the same time.
8. We are more available. We can fix your vibrator when we’re not. Other people are not gonna steal us. We’re smart, and increasingly, we’re rich.
9. We’re sensitive to your needs. We learn this by spending way too much time with google analytics, nagios, server load times and iO rates.
10. Finally, we’re geeks. Girls prefer jocks. So we will go out of our way to be special to you.
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Inksmanship
In 1863, the register of the U.S. Treasury, L.E. Chittenden, had to sign 12,500 bonds in a single weekend to stop the delivery of two British-built warships to the Confederacy. He started at noon on Friday and managed 3,700 signatures in the first seven hours, but by Saturday morning he was desperate:
[E]very muscle on the right side connected with the movement of the hand and arm became inflamed, and the pain was almost beyond endurance. … In the slight pauses which were made, rubbing, the application of hot water, and other remedies were resorted to, in order to alleviate the pain and reduce the inflammation. They were comparatively ineffectual, and the hours dragged on without bringing much relief.
He finished, exhausted, at noon on Sunday, completing a mountain of bonds more than 6 feet high. These were rushed to a waiting steamer — and only then did word come that the English warships had been sold to a different buyer. The bonds, in the end, were not needed.