A preacher comes upon a girl playing with a box holding a litter of new-born kittens inside. “What kind of kittens are those?”, he asked.
“They are Christian kittens”, she said. He left pleased she had Jesus in her thoughts.
Days later he saw her again. “How are your Christian kittens doing?”, he asked.
“Oh, they aren’t Christian kittens, they are Atheist”, she replied.
“I thought they were Christian kittens.” said the preacher.
“Oh, they were. But now their eyes are open!”
Saint Peter is watching the gates of Heaven, but he really has to go to the bathroom. He asks Jesus to watch the gates for a few minutes, and Jesus agrees.
As Jesus is standing there, he sees an old man leading a donkey up from Earth to Heaven. He notices the old man has carpenter’s tools with him. When the old man gets to the gates, Jesus asks him to describe his life and explain why he feels he should be admitted into Heaven.
The man explains:
“In English, my name would be Joseph, but I didn’t live in America or England. I lived a modest life, making things out of wood. I’m not remembered very well by most people, but almost everyone has heard of my son. I call him my son, but I was more of a Dad to him — he really didn’t come into this world in the usual way. I sent my son out to be among the people of the world. He was ridiculed by many, and was even known to associate himself with some pretty unsavory characters, although he himself tried to be honest and perfect. My single biggest reason for trying to get into Heaven is to be re-united with my son.”
Jesus is awe-struck by the man’s story. He looks into the old man’s eyes and asks, “Father?”
The old man’s face brightens; he looks at Jesus, and asks, “Pinocchio?”